22 Descriptions of Marital Love

"More couples than I can number have been surprised that their marriage needs the regular rescue of grace. And because they did not take the bible seriously, they were caught short in that moment, when the rubber meets the road in daily life, where grace was their only hope." So writes Paul Tripp in his excellent book What Did You Expect? Below are twenty-two descriptions of marital love from Tripp's book.  While the descriptions apply to both husbands and wives, we’ve written them specifically to us husbands:

1. Love is being willing to have your life complicated by the needs and struggles of your wife without impatience or anger.

2. Love is actively fighting the temptation to be critical and judgmental toward your wife, while looking for ways to encourage and praise.

3. Love is the daily commitment to resist the needless moments of conflict that come from pointing out and responding to minor offenses.

4. Love is being honest and approachable in times of misunderstanding, and being more committed to unity than you are to winning, accusing, or being right.

5. Love is a daily commitment to admit your sin, weakness, and failure and to resist the temptation to offer an excuse or shift the blame.

6. Love means being willing, when confronted by your wife, to examine your heart rather than rising to your defense or shifting the focus.

7. Love is a daily commitment to grow in love so that the love you offer to your wife is increasingly selfless, mature, and patient.

8. Love is being unwilling to do what is wrong when you have been wronged but to look for concrete and specific ways to overcome evil with good.

9. Love is being a good student of your wife, looking for her physical, emotional, and spiritual needs so that in some way you can remove the burden, support her as she carries it, or encourage her along the way.

10. Love means being willing to invest the time necessary to discuss, examine, and understand the problems that you face as a couple, staying on task until the problem is removed or you have agreed upon a strategy of response.

11. Love is always being willing to ask for forgiveness and being committed to grant forgiveness when it is requested.

12. Love is recognizing the high value of trust in a marriage and being faithful to your promises and true to your word.

13. Love is speaking kindly and gently, even in moments of disagreement, refusing to attack your spouse's character or assault his or her intelligence.

14. Love is being unwilling to flatter, lie, manipulate, or deceive in any way in order to co-opt your wife into giving you what you want or doing something your way.

15. Love is being unwilling to ask your wife to be the source of your identity, meaning and purpose, or inner sense of well-being, while refusing to be the source of hers.

16. Love is the willingness to have less free time, less sleep, and a busier schedule in order to be faithful to what God has called you to be and to do as a husband.

17. Love is a commitment to say no to selfish instincts and to do everything that is within your ability to promote real unity, functional understanding, and active love in your marriage.

18. Love is staying faithful to your commitment to treat your spouse with appreciation, respect, and grace, even in moments when he or she doesn't seem to deserve it or is unwilling to reciprocate.

19. Love is the willingness to make regular and costly sacrifices for the sake of your marriage without asking anything in return or using your sacrifices to place your wife in your debt.

20. Love is being unwilling to make any personal decision or choice that would harm your marriage, hurt your wife, or weaken the bond of trust between you.

21. Love is refusing to be self-focused or demanding but instead looking for specific ways to serve, support, and encourage, even when you are busy or tired.

22. Love is daily admitting to yourself, your wife, and God that you are not able to love this way without God's protecting, providing, forgiving, rescuing, and delivering grace.

Thanks to R W Glenn for this compilation

Gospel Militancy

“Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord?  Do I not loathe those who rise up against you?”  Psalm 139:21

Strong language.  And there is no ambiguity in the Hebrew.  Moreover, this militant spirit runs throughout the Bible.  In the New Testament, for example, Paul curses anyone who perverts the gospel (Galatians 1:8-9).  We cannot tear this thread from the biblical fabric without shredding the whole.  But how does this intensity fit into the gospel of loving one’s enemy?

One, gospel militancy is not personally spiteful.  David does not say, “Do I not hate those who hate me, O Lord?”  We know that David could humbly accept personal abuse without retaliating (2 Samuel 16:5-14).

Two, gospel militancy recognizes that Christ has real enemies.  “Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord?”  There are beasts and false prophets, as in the Revelation, both outside and inside the church.  Their hostility toward Christ is sometimes aimed at us.  But it’s still about Christ.

Three, gospel militancy is (1) required by love for Christ and (2) compatible with love for his enemies:

(1)  We must choose sides, clearly and openly, as David did.  There is nothing more tragic than a Christian man who is hard to read.  David had the guts to stand up for Christ, because he valued the Lord’s approval more than human approval.

(2)  We must both love and hate those who oppose Christ.  What we hate about them is their opposition to him.  What we love about them is his creation of them.  John L. McKenzie, in the American Ecclesiastical Review 111 (1944): 90, distinguished the odium inimicitiae from the odium abominationis.  The former is the psychology of personal malice.  It is sinful.  The latter is more complex.  It values and honors the divine creation of the other, while it disapproves of the perversities to which the divine creation is devoted.  It would be wrong not to disapprove.  But in this same complex sense, we both love and hate ourselves too.

Four, gospel militancy includes self-criticism.  Immediately after his outcry in verse 21, David also prays, “Search me, O God, and know my heart!” (Psalm 139:23).  David was as suspicious of nothing in the world as he was of himself.  He asked God to change him in any way God wanted.

Five, gospel militancy accepts suffering.  Loyalty to Christ is loyalty to a crucified Hero.  Standing boldly for Christ doesn’t mean we have to win; it just means standing, whatever the outcome.  Frederick William Faber:

Then learn to scorn the praise of men and learn to lose with God;

For Jesus won the world through shame, and beckons thee his road.

Six, gospel militancy is sustained by the final triumph of Christ.  Miroslav Volf, Exclusion and Embrace, page 302: “The certainty of God’s just judgment at the end of history is the presupposition for the renunciation of violence in the middle of it.”

Christ is coming.  He will judge.  That is his prerogative alone.  Our part, moment by moment, is to maintain the strong but delicate complexities of gospel militancy until he comes, whatever the cost to us personally.

by Dr. Ray Ortlund is Lead Pastor of Immanuel Church in Nashville, Tennessee

Ten Ways To Love a Woman

Note from author of this article Patrick Morley: This is an excerpt from my new book Man Alive. I wrote Man Alive because I'm tired of watching men go to events, get all amped up, charge out determined to do better, soar briefly, then glide (or crash) back to earth. In my experience these men are deeply frustrated that they can't sustain the change. It doesn't have to be that way. So what's going on? There are seven primal needs that, when met God's way, can stop the spiritual roller coaster. If you know a man like that, or if that's you, order a copy of Man Alive today and let me walk you through a process to become "alive through Christ" (Eph 2:4-5). Or start a small group to discuss the questions at the end of each chapter.

No need is more primal than to love and be loved without reservation. I've been married to Patsy for 39 years and I love her more today than the day we married. I mentioned this to a single female lab tech yesterday and she wanted to know the "secret." I told her several practical ideas, but at the end I said, "We're Christians and each of us have given Jesus the first place in our lives. When Christ is first, everything else just seems to fall into place." I watched as comprehension slowly spread across her face.

Here are the ten most practical marriage ideas I've picked up over four decades of working with men. Discuss these with your single men too!

1. Pray with Your Wife

Shaun from Bozeman, Montana, asked his men's group, "How many of you pray with your wives?" Only one of the eight men said that he did. They started holding each other accountable. Here's what Shaun said about it a year later:

The benefits when we are obedient in this area are amazing. Here are some comments from the men about what happens when they pray with their wives on a consistent basis:

·         "I feel a closeness to my wife that wasn't there before."

·         "Communication between us is better."

·         "The petty things are just not a big deal anymore."

And I'll tell you this, it's pretty hard to be upset with your wife or to be arguing and still come before God with a clean heart. It forces us to communicate and humble ourselves with each other before we do something as intimate as praying together. It just permeates through the rest of your family and day.

Ask your wife if you can take some time each day to pray together. Patsy and I always start the day with prayer for one to three minutes, and then we pray again when we're together for dinner.

2. Pray for Your Wife

Not long ago I wrote a book called The Marriage Prayer with David Delk. The book is titled after a very specific sixty-eight-word prayer that we believe captures the essence of what the Bible teaches on marriage.

One day, a few months after I had started praying the marriage prayer myself, I was settled into my favorite chair and deep into a book when I saw Patsy walking by with the trash. I literally leaped out of my chair and said, "Here, let me get that for you."

Immediately I stopped. What just happened here? I wondered, since I was pretty sure I had never done that before!

And then a phrase from the marriage prayer popped into my mind: "I want to hear her, cherish her, and serve her -- so she would love You more and we can bring You glory."

This prayer has also been transforming for other men. One man said he started putting his empty Splenda packets in the trash instead of leaving them on the counter. You have to start somewhere.

Here's the whole marriage prayer:

Father, I said, "Till death do us part"-- I want to mean it.

Help me to love You more than her,

and her more than anyone or anything else.

Help me bring her into Your presence today.

Make us one, like You are three-in-one.

I want to hear her, cherish her, and serve her --

So she would love You more and

we can bring You glory. Amen.

Think about this: you are likely the only person in the whole world who will remember to regularly pray for your mate. Tear out or copy this prayer, pray it every day for your wife, and watch God work. Learn more about the Marriage Prayer--including a version for a wife to pray--at www.themarriageprayer.com.

3. Spend Time with Her Alone

How we spend our time reveals what is really important to us. Successful couples spend time together. They develop shared interests, such as bowling, reading, hiking, Bible studies, board games, or walking around the neighborhood. Patsy and I have always kept a weekly date night as a top priority.

Early in our marriage, I started hanging out at the table after dinner for about twenty minutes just to be with Patsy. We've done this for decades. A few years ago I also started rubbing her feet with lotion as we talk. I can guarantee you who she'll say is her best friend!

4. Listen to Her Deeply Without Giving an Overly Quick Reply

Communication invariably shows up as the number one problem in marriage surveys. And the greatest weakness in communication with our mates is the problem of giving an overly quick reply. We attach high value to our mates when we listen sincerely and patiently to each other. Listening deeply requires that we don't respond too quickly, don't criticize, and don't give advice unless the other person asks for it. (Everyone dreads being "fixed.") Listening lubricates marriage and cuts down on friction.

5. Touch Her

Successful couples touch each other. They hug, squeeze, embrace, pat, hold hands, put their arms around each other, and sit close enough to touch when watching television. Nonsexual touching leads to genuine intimacy. Touching her is like recharging her battery.

6. Accept Her Unconditionally

Happy wives don't feel like they have to perform to be loved. They don't feel like they will be rejected if they don't meet a set of standards. For Pete's sake, if your wife has fat ankles, don't say something stupid like, "Why don't you do ankle exercises?" Jesus accepts each of us "just as I am," as the old hymn says, and smart mates accept each other as is too. Intimacy means that I know who you are at the deepest level and I accept you.

7. Encourage Her with Words

Your mate has an emotional bank account into which you make deposits and from which you make withdrawals. If you're grumpy when you get home from work, you are making a withdrawal from her account. When you encourage your spouse when she feels down, you are making a deposit. (Make sure to keep track of the account balance!)

We all need to be lifted up when we feel blue, but the most successful couples go one step further--they create a positive environment. They verbally affirm each other at every opportunity. They try to catch each other doing things right. They pass along compliments others make about their mate. They never pass up an opportunity to express appreciation: "I love the way you fix your hair." "That was a great dinner." "I love having you for my wife." "Thank you for running such a smooth home."

Encouragement is the food of the heart, and every heart is a hungry heart.

8. Take Care of Her Financially

Money problems create more stress on a marriage than any other outside threat. Here is the money issue in a nutshell: is it right to spend so much on a lifestyle today that your wife would be forced into panic mode if you were not around anymore? Successful couples have resolved to live within their means. They do not live so high today that they fail to provide for retirement and premature death.

9. Laugh with Her

The antidote to boredom in marriage is lively humor. If your partner says something even remotely funny, laugh! Keep track of what brings a smile to her face and what makes her laugh 'til her sides hurt. If neither one of you is funny, watch funny movies and make some funny friends.

10. After God but Before All Others, Make Your Wife Your Top Priority

Once I called three friends to pray for a difficult challenge I faced the next day. One week later I called each of them to let them know how it turned out. "Oh yeah," every one of them said, "I've been meaning to call you."

Sure.

Men, you and your wife are the only two people who are really in this thing together. Everyone else will phase in and out of your lives -- even your children. One day soon the party will be over and all your golfing buddies will have moved to Florida to live in little condominium pods and drive around on streets made for golf carts. And there will be only two rocking chairs sitting side by side. One for you, and one for her.

Doesn't it make sense to invest today in the person who will be sitting next to you then? Be your wife's best friend.

Five Dangers for Young Men by J. C. Ryle

1. Pride

“Young men, do not be too confident in your own judgment. Stop being so sure that you are always right, and others wrong. Don’t trust your own opinion, when you find it contrary to that of older men, and especially to that of your own parents. Age gives experience, and therefore deserves respect.”

2. Love of Pleasure

“Youth is the time when our passions are strongest—and like unruly children, cry most loudly for indulgence. Youth is the time when we have generally our most health and strength: death seems far away, and to enjoy ourselves in this life seems to be everything. ‘I serve lusts and pleasures’, that is the true answer many a young man should give if asked, ‘Whose servant are you?’"

3. Thoughtlessness

“Not thinking is one simple reason why thousands of souls are thrown away forever into the Lake of Fire. Men will not consider, will not look ahead, will not look around them, will not reflect on the end of their present course, and the sure consequences of their present days, and wake up to find they are damned for a lack of thinking. Young men, none are in more danger of this than yourselves. You know little of the perils around you, and so you are careless how you walk. You hate the trouble of serious, quiet thinking, and so you make wrong decisions and bring upon yourselves much sorrow.”

4. Contempt of Religion

“This also is one of your special dangers. I always observe that none pay so little outward respect to Christianity as young men. None take so little part in our services, when they are present at them—use Bibles so little—sing so little—listen to preaching so little. None are so generally absent at prayer meetings, Bible Studies, and all other weekday helps to the soul. Young men seem to think they do not need these things—they may be good for women and old men, but not for them. They appear ashamed of seeming to care about their souls: one would almost fancy they considered it a disgrace to go to heaven at all.”

5. Fear of Man’s Opinion

“It is terrible to observe the power which the fear of man has over most minds, and especially over the minds of the young. Few seem to have any opinions of their own, or to think for themselves. Like dead fish, they go with the stream and tide. What others think is right, they think is right; and what others call wrong, they call wrong too. There are not many original thinkers in the world. Most men are like sheep, they follow a leader. If it was the fashion of the day to be Roman Catholics, they would be Roman Catholics, if it was to be Islamic, they would be Islamic. They dread the idea of going against the current of the times. In a word, the opinion of the day becomes their religion, their creed, their Bible, and their God.”


[This post originally appeared in The Resurgence by Mike Anderson]

Creating a Church Culture for Manly Men of God

Intensely felt, openly demonstrated love between manly men of God – who wouldn’t want to be a part of that?  Three ways to create that culture in our churches:

One, “Outdo one another in showing honor” (Romans 12:10).  No flippant put-downs.  No undercutting.  Not even waiting for the next guy to make the first move.  But me getting out of my self-concern to lift the next man up with high honor.  Doing this verbally, unashamedly.

Two, “Bear with one another” (Colossians 3:13).  Not trying to change one another.  Who appointed us to that role?  Our privilege is to bear with one another’s “weaknesses and oddities, which are such a trial to our patience, . . . to break through to the point where we take joy in [the other man’s quirkiness]” (Bonhoeffer, Life Together, page 101).

Three, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths but only such as is good for building up” (Ephesians 4:29).  Nothing could be more unAmerican than denying ourselves our right of free speech.  Men of God filter every word by a higher standard.  Even if the words wanting to come out of my mouth are factually true, the real question is, Are my words positively helping the man listening?

Manly men of God loving one another intensely and openly are a life-enriching social environment.

by Dr. Ray Ortlund is Lead Pastor of Immanuel Church in Nashville, Tennessee

20 Ways Satan May Try to Destroy You this Week

He is the serpent, the Great Dragon, Beelzebul, the ruler of this world, the prince of the power of the air, the evil one, and the adversary. He is Satan. And—if you are a follower of Jesus Christ—he hates your guts with a passion. Like a roaring lion he is prowling about seeking to destroy you. How can you stand firm and resist the devil so that he will flee from you? First, do not be naive; you must consider his ways.

Here are 20 ways Satan may try to destroy you this week , how the Bible says we are to stand firm and resist, and  the armor and the weapons we are to use in the battle. READ MORE

by Dr. Paul Tautges serves Immanuel Bible Church in Sheboygan, WI as pastor since 1992. He is the husband of Karen and father of ten children. Paul is also an adjunct professor at several seminaries and author of seven books. 

"Ready to Lead, Ready to Follow, Never Quit"

Below is the Code of the U.S. Navy Seals, who are the subject of the upcoming movie Act of Valor. Their Code is an outward expression of a warrior code hard-wired into every man's soul.

Loyalty to Country, Team and Teammate

Serve with Honor and Integrity On and Off the Battlefield

Ready to Lead, Ready to Follow, Never Quit

Take responsibility for your actions and the actions of your teammates

Excel as Warriors through Discipline and Innovation

Train for War, Fight to Win, Defeat our Nation’s Enemies

Earn your Trident everyday

In times of war or uncertainty there is a special breed of warrior ready to answer our Nation’s call. A common man with uncommon desire to succeed. 

Forged by adversity, he stands alongside America’s finest special operations forces to serve his country, the American people, and protect their way of life.

I am that man.

My Trident is a symbol of honor and heritage. Bestowed upon me by the heroes that have gone before, it embodies the trust of those I have sworn to protect. By wearing the Trident I accept the responsibility of my chosen profession and way of life. It is a privilege that I must earn every day. 

My loyalty to Country and Team is beyond reproach. I humbly serve as a guardian to my fellow Americans always ready to defend those who are unable to defend themselves. I do not advertise the nature of my work, nor seek recognition for my actions. I voluntarily accept the inherent hazards of my profession, placing the welfare and security of others before my own.

I serve with honor on and off the battlefield. The ability to control my emotions and my actions, regardless of circumstance, sets me apart from other men. 

Uncompromising integrity is my standard. My character and honor are steadfast. My word is my bond.

We expect to lead and be led. In the absence of orders I will take charge, lead my teammates and accomplish the mission. I lead by example in all situations.

I will never quit. I persevere and thrive on adversity. My Nation expects me to be physically harder and mentally stronger than my enemies. If knocked down, I will get back up, every time. I will draw on every remaining ounce of strength to protect my teammates and to accomplish our mission. I am never out of the fight.

We demand discipline. We expect innovation. The lives of my teammates and the success of our mission depend on me - my technical skill, tactical proficiency, and attention to detail. My training is never complete.

We train for war and fight to win. I stand ready to bring the full spectrum of combat power to bear in order to achieve my mission and the goals established by my country. The execution of my duties will be swift and violent when required yet guided by the very principles that I serve to defend.

Brave men have fought and died building the proud tradition and feared reputation that I am bound to uphold. In the worst of conditions, the legacy of my teammates steadies my resolve and silently guides my every deed. I will not fail.

Check out a review of  Act of Valor and trailer for the movie, unlike any movie ever made HERE  It's scheduled to open in theaters across the country 2/24/12.

   

The Grey - Guys and God in the Wild

The Grey, released last weekend, is a different kind of "manly" movie that goes far beyond the popular film genre of men acting like boys or men reveling in murder, mayhem and sex. It's a cross between those great Jack London wilderness adventures, the epic Moby Dick drama, and the suspense classic Jaws that pitted men against anything nature throws at them. 

The Grey is not some sentimental morality tale. What makes it so provocative is that it explores The Dark Night of the Soul wherein a man is plunged into the depths of spiritual crisis and must battle with good and evil, life and death, hope and despair, and belief and unbelief. In addition to the incredible challenges nature thrusts upon this small, stranded band of men who survive a plane crash in the harsh, hostile Alaskan wilderness, they must contend with what it means to act like a man in the midst of fierce spiritual warfare.

[If you're interested in a discussion guide that explores the movie's spiritual themes, click "film companion"] 

Make no mistake The Grey is an in-your-face movie laced with profanity, thrills and chills, and the harsh reality of the despair in man's fallenness. It will puncture your sensibilities and challenge who you really trust in your own wilderness struggle. Below is a longer review by David Roak of Christianity Today.

"Midpoint in The Grey, while trying to survive a pack of wolves in Alaska's wilderness, a group of men sit around a fire reflecting on their lives while literally staring death in face. One of them insists on the pertinence of faith and the existence of God in the midst of their suffering, while two others refute the claim and call his belief a "fairy tale," claiming there's no life after death. These opposing ideologies stand front and center of this chilling new adventure by writer-director Joe Carnahan (The A-Team). He puts the two ideas to the test in his grey and desolate wasteland, looking to see which prevails."

"Liam Neeson stars as Ottway, an Irish hunter and one of the two men without faith. After surviving a plane crash in the freezing conditions of Alaska, he and a few members of an oil drilling team, including Diaz, an arrogant womanizer (Frank Grillo), and Talget, a passive family man (Dermot Mulroney), find themselves being hunted by a pack of wolves. Hopeless with nowhere to go, they do all they can to escape into a wooded area, which may or may not be a safe haven, but the wolves begin to take their lives, one by one"

"Within these bleak circumstances, Ottway voluntarily becomes the leader because of his experience killing wolves. But even though he may be a trained hunter, he secretly faces problems of his own. In the opening sequence, we see him walk outside a bar and proceed to attempt suicide, with a rifle placed in his mouth, only to be distracted by the howl of a wolf in the distance. We learn that his inner struggles stem from his wife leaving him—and now he's got hungry wolves circling for the kill. Much to fret about."

"The film, adapted from the short story Ghost Walkers by Ian MacKenzie Jeffers, weaves Ottway's struggles together in redemptive fashion. Forced to be the leader and give hope to the rest of the men, despite his own feelings of hopelessness, Ottway faces his internal demons because of the external, fang-baring ones. Ironically, the dire circumstances act as a catalyst for his personal redemption."

"Such optimism doesn't extend to every character or the entire situation, so The Grey is hardly a morality tale. As the title implies an underlying moral ambiguity, the film often settles into a cynical outlook void of redemption and God. In many ways, these darker aspects actually trump the small, personal thread of Ottway finally coming to terms with the absence of his wife and, even more so, with his life."

"This nihilistic worldview and unbelief in God emerges first and foremost visually. Working with few colors, a range of grays and a fixed graininess, Carnahan gives his film dark and lifeless imagery that, in turn, creates a prevalently melancholic tone. He takes the same approach with the scenery. The cold, dreary climate, with no hope in sight and an enemy in the middle of it, further establishes it."

"But the bleakest component of all is the wolves and their relentless attacks. In the course of all the blood, guts, and death, the question surfaces: Where is God and meaning in all of it? Like the wolves themselves, this rhetorical question runs rampantly throughout the story as the group becomes smaller and smaller, death after death, until a moment in which Ottway cries out to God, pleading for help. Desperate and facing death, he admits his need for a savior only to remark, "Fine, I'll do it myself." The scene epitomizes the moral haziness of The Grey, but it also leads the film into its gripping finale. Seamlessly paced with suspense and anticipation throughout—thanks in part to a vigorous score—the whole story points to this intense moment, putting Ottway face to face with the wolves and the alpha of the pack."

"Neeson carries the film, bringing physical action and human emotion from start to finish. He balances out his tough, grizzly persona with a hurting, vulnerable side. His role, autobiographical in regard to the loss of wife three years ago, keeps the film grounded in humanity and, in the end, stops it from falling into cynicism, despite Ottway's conflicted morality. In one scene, he looks at pictures of the families of men who died, thinking about his own wife. This moment of pure sentiment feels so personal, so transcendent."

[Also, check out the review from Hollywood Jesus]

Dave Brown is the Director and Pastor-at-Large of the Washington Area Coalition of Men's Ministries (WACMM), a nonprofit, nondenominational ministry to pastors and men's leaders.

The Grey - Guys and God in the Wild

The Grey

The Grey is a manly movie that goes far beyond the today's typical film portrayal of men behaving like boys or men reveling in murder and mayhem. Its a cross between those great Jack London adventures, the vintage Moby Dick, and the modern classic Jaws that pit men against anything nature throws at them. With these sagas as foreground it explores the Dark Night of the Soul wherein a man plunges into a spiritual crisis and must wrestle with the questions of God, life, death and faith. Of all the challenges they face in this isolated, hostile and dangerous wilderness, perhaps the most formidable is to learn what it means to be strong and courageous, and to act like men.

With action superstar Liam Neeson in the lead role, The Grey is indeed a chilling adventure about ordinary men stranded in the wilderness and pitted against impossible conditions and even more nightmarish predators. Set in the frozen mountains of Alaska, a pack of angry, snarling wolves doggedly pursue their human prey while the men work out their relationships and issues with each other – and with God. This movie goes to heart of manhood crisis in our culture.

Check it out in the theaters or keep in mind when its released in DVD. Below is a longer review by David Roak, Christianity Today.

"Midpoint in The Grey, while trying to survive a pack of wolves in Alaska's wilderness, a group of men sit around a fire reflecting on their lives while literally staring death in face. One of them insists on the pertinence of faith and the existence of God in the midst of their suffering, while two others refute the claim and call his belief a "fairy tale," claiming there's no life after death. These opposing ideologies stand front and center of this chilling new adventure by writer-director Joe Carnahan (The A-Team). He puts the two ideas to the test in his grey and desolate wasteland, looking to see which prevails."

[If you're interested in a discussion guide that explores the movie's spiritual themes, click "film companion"]

"Liam Neeson stars as Ottway, an Irish hunter and one of the two men without faith. After surviving a plane crash in the freezing conditions of Alaska, he and a few members of an oil drilling team, including Diaz, an arrogant womanizer (Frank Grillo), and Talget, a passive family man (Dermot Mulroney), find themselves being hunted by a pack of wolves. Hopeless with nowhere to go, they do all they can to escape into a wooded area, which may or may not be a safe haven, but the wolves begin to take their lives, one by one"

"Within these bleak circumstances, Ottway voluntarily becomes the leader because of his experience killing wolves. But even though he may be a trained hunter, he secretly faces problems of his own. In the opening sequence, we see him walk outside a bar and proceed to attempt suicide, with a rifle placed in his mouth, only to be distracted by the howl of a wolf in the distance. We learn that his inner struggles stem from his wife leaving him—and now he's got hungry wolves circling for the kill. Much to fret about."

"The film, adapted from the short story Ghost Walkers by Ian MacKenzie Jeffers, weaves Ottway's struggles together in redemptive fashion. Forced to be the leader and give hope to the rest of the men, despite his own feelings of hopelessness, Ottway faces his internal demons because of the external, fang-baring ones. Ironically, the dire circumstances act as a catalyst for his personal redemption."

"Such optimism doesn't extend to every character or the entire situation, so The Grey is hardly a morality tale. As the title implies an underlying moral ambiguity, the film often settles into a cynical outlook void of redemption and God. In many ways, these darker aspects actually trump the small, personal thread of Ottway finally coming to terms with the absence of his wife and, even more so, with his life."

"This nihilistic worldview and unbelief in God emerges first and foremost visually. Working with few colors, a range of grays and a fixed graininess, Carnahan gives his film dark and lifeless imagery that, in turn, creates a prevalently melancholic tone. He takes the same approach with the scenery. The cold, dreary climate, with no hope in sight and an enemy in the middle of it, further establishes it."

"But the bleakest component of all is the wolves and their relentless attacks. In the course of all the blood, guts, and death, the question surfaces: Where is God and meaning in all of it? Like the wolves themselves, this rhetorical question runs rampantly throughout the story as the group becomes smaller and smaller, death after death, until a moment in which Ottway cries out to God, pleading for help. Desperate and facing death, he admits his need for a savior only to remark, "Fine, I'll do it myself." The scene epitomizes the moral haziness of The Grey, but it also leads the film into its gripping finale. Seamlessly paced with suspense and anticipation throughout—thanks in part to a vigorous score—the whole story points to this intense moment, putting Ottway face to face with the wolves and the alpha of the pack."

"Neeson carries the film, bringing physical action and human emotion from start to finish. He balances out his tough, grizzly persona with a hurting, vulnerable side. His role, autobiographical in regard to the loss of wife three years ago, keeps the film grounded in humanity and, in the end, stops it from falling into cynicism, despite Ottway's conflicted morality. In one scene, he looks at pictures of the families of men who died, thinking about his own wife. This moment of pure sentiment feels so personal, so transcendent."