Across civilizations, religions, and generations, men were not first measured by what they could conquer, command, or correct. They were measured by what they could restrain. Anger. Appetite. Ambition. Ego. Before a man was trusted with authority over others, he was expected to demonstrate authority over himself.
That assumption ran so deep it rarely needed to be explained.
But something changed.
When Anger Started to Feel Like Strength
Periods of cultural instability always produce the same temptation. When order collapses, anger begins to feel like clarity. Volume feels like courage. Aggression feels like masculinity.
It’s understandable. Weak leadership provokes reaction. Feminized institutions invite revolt. Men who have been ignored, mocked, or sidelined start looking for something solid to grab.
Anger offers that solidity. It sharpens the edges. It simplifies the world into friends and enemies. It feels decisive.
But Scripture never treats anger as a qualification for leadership. It treats it as a liability.
“Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.” (Proverbs 16:32)
That verse doesn’t deny the value of strength. It reorders it. Taking a city is impressive. Ruling your spirit is rarer.
The Reversal We Barely Noticed
Somewhere along the way, masculinity quietly flipped its order of operations. Instead of self-rule leading to authority, authority became something to seize first, with character expected to catch up later. If it ever did.
Reaction replaced formation. Outrage replaced discipline. Confidence became a posture rather than a pattern of life. That reversal feels powerful in the moment. But it produces men who are brittle rather than strong.
A man who cannot govern his temper cannot govern a
household.
A man who cannot receive correction cannot be trusted with command.
A man who must stay angry to feel strong is already confessing weakness.
How Authority Has Always Been Tested
Long before platforms and comment sections, institutions that actually lasted operated on a simple assumption: authority is entrusted, not claimed.
Across households, churches, armies, and trades, men were evaluated by a few basic duties. They weren’t edgy. They weren’t complicated. But they worked.
Care.
Does this man steward what has been placed in his hands, or does he burn
through it to prove a point?
Obedience.
Is he visibly submitted to lawful authority, or does he only respect power when
he holds it?
Accounting.
Can he give an honest account of his actions and their fruit, or only defend
his intentions?
Loyalty.
Is he anchored to real people and real obligations, or to a tribe that exists
mostly online?
These aren’t soft virtues. They are stabilizing ones.
A man who fails here may still sound confident. He may still be right about many things. But he is not yet trustworthy.
The Trap of Performative Masculinity
One of the great dangers of the moment is mistaking posture for power.
Rhetorical aggression can look like leadership. Contempt can masquerade as discernment. Constant opposition can feel like courage.
But Scripture does not define masculinity by how sharply a man critiques the world. It defines it by how faithfully he orders his life. Elders are required to be sober-minded, self-controlled, gentle, disciplined. Not because those traits are weak, but because authority without them destroys rather than builds.
Anger might rally a crowd. It cannot shepherd souls.
Christ as the Measure
This is where everything clarifies.
Christ did not inherit authority because He seized it. He did not rule by outrage. He did not posture for dominance.
He obeyed the Father. He ruled Himself. Then He was given all authority in heaven and on earth. That order matters.
Any vision of masculinity that cannot survive that comparison is not biblical. It is brittle.
A Harder Path Than Outrage
It is easy to be angry online. It is hard to be faithful in obscurity.
It is easy to identify enemies. It is hard to rule your spirit.
It is easy to demand order from the world. It is far harder to submit yourself to real authority, real accountability, and real responsibility.
But that harder path is the only one that produces men fit to lead.
Masculinity is not proven by how loudly a man resists cultural decay. It is proven by the order he maintains over himself, especially when no one is watching.
Self-rule comes first. World-rule comes later, if at all.
And when that order is honored, authority no longer needs to be announced. It is recognized.
By Virgil Walker who serves as a Teaching Pastor at Redeemer Bible Church in Gilbert, Arizona. He is also the co-host of the Just Thinking Podcast and is a featured writer at Sola Veritas, Standing for Freedom Center, and TPUSA’s BLEXIT movement.
