"Moreover the Philistines had yet war again
with Israel; and David went down, and his servants with him, and fought against
the Philistines: and David waxed faint."—II Sam. 21:15
"For, when we were come into Macedonia, our flesh had no
rest, but we were troubled on every side; without were fightings, within were
fears. Nevertheless God, that comforteth those that are cast down, comforted us
by the coming of Titus."—II Cor. 7:5,6
"In weariness and painfulness, in watchings often, in hunger
and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness. Beside those things that
are without, that which cometh upon me daily, the care of all the churches. Who
is weak, and I am not weak? Who is offended, and I burn not?"—II Cor.
11:27–29
As it is recorded that
David, in the heat of battle, waxed faint, so may it be written of all servants
of the Lord.
Fits of depression come
over the most of us. Cheerful as we may be, we must at intervals be cast down.
The strong are not always vigorous, the wise not always ready, the brave not
always courageous, and the joyous not always happy.
There may be here and
there men of iron to whom wear and tear work no perceptible detriment, but
surely the rust frets even these; and as for ordinary men, the Lord knows and
makes them to know that they are but dust.
Knowing by most painful
experience what deep depression of spirit means, being visited therewith at
seasons by no means few or far between, I thought it might be consolatory to
some of my brethren if I gave my thoughts thereon, that younger men might not
fancy that some strange thing had happened to them when they became for a
season possessed by melancholy; and that sadder men might know that one upon
whom the sun has shone right joyously did not always walk in the light.
It is not necessary by
quotations from the biographies of eminent ministers to prove that seasons of
fearful prostration have fallen to the lot of most, if not all, of them. The
life of Luther might suffice to give a thousand instances, and he was by no
means of the weaker sort. His great spirit was often in the seventh heaven of
exultation, and as frequently on the borders of despair. His very deathbed was
not free from tempests, and he sobbed himself into his last sleep like a
greatly wearied child.
Instead of multiplying
cases, let us dwell upon the reasons why these things are permitted; why it is
that the children of light sometimes walk in the thick darkness; why the
heralds of the daybreak find themselves at times in tenfold night.
God's Preachers Are Still Frail Humanity
Is it not first that
they are men? Being men, they are compassed with infirmity and are heirs of
sorrow. Grace guards us from much of this, but because we have not more of
grace, we still suffer even from ills preventable. Even under the economy of
redemption it is most clear that we are to endure infirmities; otherwise, there
were no need of the promised Spirit to help us in them.
It is of necessity that
we are sometimes in heaviness. Good men are promised tribulation in this world,
and ministers may expect a larger share than others, that they may learn
sympathy with the Lord's suffering people, and so may be fitting shepherds of
an ailing flock.
Disembodied spirits
might have been sent to proclaim the Word; but they could not have entered into
the feeling of those who, being in this body, do groan, being burdened.
Angels might have been
ordained evangelists, but their celestial attributes would have disqualified
them from having compassion on the ignorant.
Men of marble might have
been fashioned, but their impassive natures would have been a sarcasm upon our
feebleness and a mockery of our wants.
Men, and men subject to
human passions, the all-wise God has chosen to be His vessels of grace; hence
these tears, hence these perplexities and castings down.
Moreover, most of us are
in some way or other unsound physically. Here and there we meet an old man who cannot
remember that ever he was laid aside for a day; but the great mass of us labor
under some form or other of infirmity, either in body or mind.
Certain bodily maladies,
especially those connected with the digestive organs, the liver and the spleen,
are the fruitful fountains of despondency; and let a man strive as he may
against their influence, there will be hours and circumstances in which they
will for awhile overcome him.
As to mental maladies,
is any man altogether sane? Are we not all a little off the balance?
Some minds appear to
have a gloomy tinge essential to their very individuality. Of them it may be
said, "Melancholy marked [them] for her own"; fine minds withal and
ruled by noblest principles, but yet they are most prone to forget the silver
lining and to remember only the cloud.
These infirmities may be
no detriment to a man's career of special usefulness. They may even have been
imposed upon him by divine wisdom as necessary qualification for his peculiar
course of service.
Some plants owe their
medicinal qualities to the marsh in which they grow; others to the shades in
which alone they flourish. There are precious fruits put forth by the moon as
well as by the sun. Boats need ballast as well as sail. A drag on the carriage
wheel is no hindrance when the road runs downhill.
Pain has, in some cases,
developed genius, hunting out the soul which otherwise might have slept like a
lion in its den. Had it not been for the broken wing, some might have lost
themselves in the clouds, some even of those choice doves who now bear the
olive branch in their mouths and show the way to the ark.
Where in body and mind
there are predisposing causes to lowness of spirit, it is no marvel if in dark
moments the heart succumbs to them; the wonder in many cases is—and if inner
lives could be written, men would see it so—how some ministers keep at their
work at all and still wear a smile upon their countenances.
Grace has its triumphs
still, and patience has it martyrs—martyrs nonetheless to be honored because the
flames kindle about their spirits rather than their bodies and their burning is
unseen of human eyes.
The Preacher's Work Has Much to Try the Soul
The ministries of
Jeremiahs are as acceptable as those of Isaiahs. Even the sullen Jonah is a
true prophet of the Lord, as Nineveh felt full well.
Despise not the lame,
for it is written that they take the prey; but honor those who, being faint,
are yet pursuing.
The tender-eyed Leah was
more fruitful than the beautiful Rachel. And the griefs of Hannah were more
divine than the boasting of Peninnah.
"Blessed are they
that mourn," said the Man of Sorrows, and let none account them otherwise
when their tears are salted with grace. We have the treasure of the Gospel in
earthen vessels, and if there be a flaw in the vessel here and there, let none
wonder.
Our work, when earnestly
undertaken, lays us open to attacks in the direction of depression. Who can
bear the weight of souls without sometimes sinking to the dust? Passionate
longings after men's conversion, if not fully satisfied (and when are they?),
consume the soul with anxiety and disappointment.
To see the hopeful turn
aside, the godly grow cold, professors abusing their privileges, and sinners
waxing more bold in sin—are not these sights enough to crush us to the earth?
The kingdom comes not as
we would, the reverend Name is not hallowed as we desire, and for this we must
weep. How can we be otherwise than sorrowful, while men believe not our report
and the divine arm is not revealed?
All mental work tends to
weary and to depress, for "much study is a weariness of the flesh."
But ours is more than mental work—it is heart work, the labor of our inmost
soul.
How often, on Lord's Day
evenings, do we feel as if life were completely washed out of us! After pouring
out our souls over our congregations, we feel like empty earthen pitchers which
a child might break. Probably, if we were more like Paul and watched for souls
at a nobler rate, we should know more of what it is to be eaten up by the zeal
of the Lord's house.
It is our duty and our
privilege to exhaust our lives for Jesus. We are not to be living specimens of
men in fine preservation, but living sacrifices, whose lot is to be consumed.
We are to spend and to be spent, not to lay ourselves up in lavender and nurse
our flesh.
Such soul-travail as
that of a faithful minister will bring on occasional seasons of exhaustion,
when heart and flesh will fail. Moses' hands grew heavy in intercession, and
Paul cried out, "Who is sufficient for these things?" Even John the
Baptist is thought to have had his fainting fits. And the apostles were once
amazed and were sore afraid.
The Loneliness of God's Prophet Tends to Depression
Our position in the
church will also conduce to this. A minister fully equipped for his work will
usually be a spirit by himself, above, beyond and apart from others. The most
loving of his people cannot enter into his peculiar thoughts, cares and
temptations.
In the ranks, men walk
shoulder to shoulder with many comrades, but as the officer rises in rank, men
of his standing are fewer in number. There are many soldiers, few captains,
fewer colonels, and only one commander in chief.
So in our churches the
man whom the Lord raises as a leader becomes, in the same degree in which he is
a superior man, a solitary man. The mountaintops stand solemnly apart and talk
only with God as He visits their terrible solitudes.
Men of God who rise
above their fellows into nearer communion with heavenly things in their weaker
moments feel the lack of human sympathy. Like their Lord in Gethsemane, they
look in vain for comfort to the disciples sleeping around them. They are
shocked at the apathy of their little band of brethren and return to their
secret agony with all the heavier burden pressing upon them because they have
found their dearest companions slumbering.
No one knows, but he who
has endured it, the solitude of a soul which has outstripped its fellows in
zeal for the Lord of Hosts. It dares not reveal itself, lest men count it mad.
It cannot conceal itself, for a fire burns within its bones. Only before the
Lord does it find rest.
Our Lord's sending out
His disciples by two and two manifested that He knew what was in men. But for
such a man as Paul, it seems to me that no helpmeet was found. Barnabas or
Silas or Luke were hills too low to hold high converse with such a Himalayan
summit as the apostle of the Gentiles.
This loneliness, which
if I mistake not is felt by many of my brethren, is a fertile source of
depression; and our ministers' fraternal meetings and the cultivation of holy
intercourse with kindred minds will, with God's blessing, help us greatly to
escape the snare.
Preachers, by Lack of Exercise and Recreation, Tend to Melancholy
There can be little
doubt that sedentary habits have a tendency to create despondency in some
constitutions.
Burton, in his Anatomy
of Melancholy, has a chapter upon this cause of sadness. Quoting from one of
the myriad authors whom he lays under contribution, he says:
"Students are negligent
of their bodies. Other men look to their tools. A painter will wash his
pencils. A smith will look to his hammer, anvil, forge. A husbandman will mend
his plow irons and grind his hatchet if it be dull. A falconer or huntsman will
have an especial care of his hawks, hounds, horses, dogs, et cetera. A musician
will string and unstring his lute. Only scholars neglect that instrument (their
brain and spirits I mean) which they daily use. Well saith Lucan, "See
thou twist not the rope so hard that it break."
To sit long in one
posture, poring over a book or driving a pen, is in itself a taxing of nature.
But add to this a badly ventilated chamber, a body which has long been without
muscular exercise, and a heart burdened with many cares, and we have all the
elements for preparing a seething caldron of despair, especially in the dim
months of fog—
When a blanket wraps the day,
When the rotten woodland drips,
And the leaf is stamped in clay.
Let a man be naturally
as blithe as a bird, he will hardly be able to bear up year after year against
such a suicidal process. He will make his study a prison and his books the
warders of a goal, while Nature lies outside his window calling him to health
and beckoning him to joy. He who forgets the humming of the bees among the heather,
the cooing of the wood pigeons in the forest, the song of birds in the woods,
the rippling of rills among the rushes, and the sighing of the wind among the
pines, needs not wonder if his heart forgets to sing and his soul grows heavy.
A day's breathing of
fresh air upon the hills or a few hours' ramble in the beech woods' umbrageous
calm, would sweep the cobwebs out of the brain of scores of our toiling
ministers who are now but half alive. A mouthful of sea air, or a stiff walk in
the wind's face, would not give grace to the soul, but it would yield oxygen to
the body, which is next best.
God Allows Fainting After Great Victories Lest We Should Be
"Exalted Above Measure"
The times most favorable
to fits of depression, so far as I have experienced, may be summed up in a
brief catalog. First among them I must mention the hour of a great success.
When at last a long-cherished desire is fulfilled, when God has been glorified
greatly by our means and a great triumph achieved, then we are apt to faint.
It might be imagined
that amid special favors our soul would soar to heights of ecstasy and rejoice
with joy unspeakable, but it is generally the reverse. The Lord seldom exposes
His warriors to the perils of exultation over victory. He knows that few of them
can endure such a test and therefore dashes their cup with bitterness.
See Elias after the fire
has fallen from Heaven, after Baal's priests have been slaughtered and the rain
has deluged the barren land! For him no notes of self-complacent music, no strutting
like a conqueror in robes of triumph. He flees from Jezebel, and feeling the
revulsion of his intense excitement, he prays that he may die. He who must
never see death yearns after the rest of the grave.
Even Caesar, the world's
monarch, in his moments of pain cried like a sick girl. Poor human nature
cannot bear such strains as heavenly triumphs bring to it. There must come a
reaction. Excess of joy or excitement must be paid for by subsequent
depressions.
While the trial lasts,
the strength is equal to the emergency. But when it is over, natural weakness
claims the right to show itself.
Secretly sustained,
Jacob can wrestle all night, but he must limp in the morning when the contest
is over, lest he boast himself beyond measure.
Paul may be caught up to
the third heaven and hear unspeakable things, but a thorn in the flesh, a
messenger of Satan to buffet him, must be the inevitable sequel.
Men cannot bear
unalloyed happiness. Even good men are not yet fit to have "their brows
with laurel and with myrtle bound" without enduring secret humiliation to
keep them in their proper places.
Burden and Weakness Are Given to Humble Us Before Great Tasks
Whirled off our feet by
a revival, carried aloft by popularity, exalted by success in soul winning, we
should be as the chaff which the wind driveth away were it not that the
gracious discipline of mercy breaks the ships of our vainglory with a strong
east wind and casts us shipwrecked, naked and forlorn, upon the Rock of Ages.
Before any great
achievement, some measure of the same depression is very usual. Surveying the
difficulties before us, our hearts sink within us. The sons of Anak stalk
before us, and we are as grasshoppers in our own sight in their presence. The
cities of Canaan are walled up to Heaven, and who are we that we should hope to
capture them? We are ready to cast down our weapons and to take to our heels.
Nineveh is a great city, and we would flee unto Tarshish sooner than encounter
its noisy crowds. Already we look for a ship which may bear us quietly away
from the terrible scene. Only a dread of tempest restrains our recreant
footsteps.
Such was my experience
when I first became a pastor in London. My success appalled me. The thought of
the career which it seemed to open up, so far from elating me, cast me into the
lowest depth, out of which I uttered my Miserere and found no room for a Gloria
in Excelsis.
Who was I that I should
continue to lead so great a multitude? I would betake me to my village
obscurity or emigrate to America and find a solitary nest in the backwoods
where I might be sufficient for the things which would be demanded of me.
It was just then that
the curtain was rising upon my lifework, and I dreaded what it might reveal. I
hope I was not faithless, but I was timorous and filled with a sense of my own
unfitness. I dreaded the work which a gracious Providence had prepared for me.
I felt myself a mere child. I trembled as I heard the voice which told me to
arise and "thresh the mountains…and make the hills as chaff."
This depression comes
over me whenever the Lord is preparing a larger blessing for my ministry. The
cloud is black before it breaks and overshadows before it yields its deluge of
mercy.
Depression has now
become to me as a prophet in rough clothing, a John the Baptist heralding the
nearer coming of my Lord's richer benison. So have far better men found it. The
scouring of the vessel has fitted it for the Master's use.
Immersion in suffering
has preceded the filling of the Holy Ghost. Fasting gives an appetite for the
banquet. The Lord is revealed in the backside of the desert, while His servant
keeps the sheep and waits in solitary awe.
The wilderness is the
way to Canaan. The low valley leads to the towering mountain. Defeat prepares
for victory. The raven is sent forth before the dove. The darkest hour of the
night precedes the day-dawn.
The mariners go down to
the depths, but the next wave makes them mount to the heaven. Their soul is
melted because of trouble before He bringeth them to their desired haven.
Failure to Take Regular Periods of Vacation and Rest Promotes
Fainting and Weariness
In the midst of a long
stretch of unbroken labor, the same affliction may be looked for. The bow
cannot be always bent without fear of breaking. Repose is as needed to the mind
as sleep to the body. Our days of worship (which were, in the Old Testament,
sabbaths) are our days of toil, and if we do not rest upon some other day, we
shall break down. Even the earth must lie fallow and have her sabbaths; and so
must we; hence the wisdom and compassion of our Lord, when He said to His
disciples that they should go "apart into a desert place, and rest a
while."
What! When the people
are fainting, when the multitudes are like sheep upon the mountains without a
shepherd, does Jesus talk of rest? When scribes and Pharisees, like grievous
wolves, are rending the flock, does He take His followers on an excursion into
a quiet resting place?
Does some red-hot zealot
denounce such atrocious forgetfulness of present and pressing demands? Let him
rave in his folly. The Master knows better than to exhaust His servants and
quench the light of Israel. Rest time is not waste time. It is economy to
gather fresh strength.
Look at the mower in the
summer's day, with so much to cut down ere the sun sets. He pauses in his
labor—is he a sluggard? He looks for his stone and begins to draw it up and
down his scythe, with "rink-a-tink—rink-a-tink—rink-a-tink." Is that
idle music? Is he wasting precious moments? How much he might have mown while he
has been ringing out those notes on his scythe! But he is sharpening his tool,
and he will do far more when once again he gives his strength to those long
sweeps which lay the grass prostrate in rows before him. Even thus a little pause
prepares the mind for greater service in the good cause.
Fishermen must mend
their nets. And we must every now and then repair our mental waste and set our
machinery in order for future service. To tug the oar from day to day, like a
galley slave who knows no holidays, suits not mortal men. Mill streams go on
and on forever, but we must have our pauses and our intervals.
Who can help being out
of breath when the race is continued without intermission? Even beasts of
burden must be turned out to grass occasionally. The very sea pauses at ebb and
flood. Earth keeps the sabbath of the wintry months. And man, even when exalted
to be God's ambassador, must rest or faint; must trim his lamp or let it burn
low; must recruit his vigor or grow prematurely old. It is wisdom to take
occasional furlough.
In the long run, we
shall do more by sometimes doing less. On, on, on forever, without recreation,
may suit spirits emancipated from this "heavy clay"; but while we are
in this tabernacle, we must every now and then cry halt and serve the Lord by holy
inaction and consecrated leisure.
Let no tender conscience
doubt the lawfulness of going out of harness for awhile, but learn from the
experience of others the necessity and duty of taking timely rest.
KING HENRY V:
