Gospel-Centered Manhood: Three Correctives

by Joseph Rhea

As a man entering my late 20s, I've been thinking a lot lately about what it means to grow in masculinity in a God-honoring way. Men my age hear a Babel of voices telling us what manhood looks like. I came to Christ in a college ministry where most of the leaders were extroverted, athletic, and aggressive. They they didn't uphold these things as parts of true manhood, but I feared on some level that I wasn't going to become much of a man (being introverted, bookish, and more laid-back). 

Many "traditional" voices for Christian manhood speak mostly in negative terms about modern expressions of manhood: mockery, complaint, deploring ("Grow up!"). On the other hand, however, few voices from our own generation say anything at all about manhood: they downplay or ignore differences between men and women.

But I want to "grow up." I am a man, and I want to be living out my manhood in a way that gives glory to God. I want to know what being a biblical man is about.

Common Vision

The vast majority of the Bible's vision for humanity applies to men and women alike: both genders are adopted sons of God; both genders compose the bride of Christ; both genders fulfill the Great Commission, receive the Great Commandment, live in Word and sacrament and prayer and community. These things are of supreme importance and will be the great part of a Christian man's vision for himself.

But there are some ways in which God has uniquely shaped men. Living into manhood—being sanctified into the image of Christ as a man—differs in some ways from the process of being sanctified into the image of Christ as a woman. Looking to Scripture, we can see at least five specific roles the Bible reserves for men. Not every man will fulfill every one of these roles in his lifetime; but each role expresses a dimension of biblical manhood, and our growth as men will move us toward potentially fulfilling each role.

Before I discuss these roles in subsequent articles, we must consider three truths that correct counterfeit notions of manhood. Beginning to learn these correctives has given me a right perspective on the process of growing in true masculinity.

1. God is the hero of my story, not me.
Men are drawn to heroes. We love to see men face obstacles, confront enemies, or overcome long odds. Watching heroes resonates with us, in part because we admire them and in part because we like to imagine ourselves acting heroically. We want to be heroes.
But God is the one true hero of history, and he is the hero of my story too. In Revelation 5, John "weep[s] loudly" (5:4) because no one "in heaven or on earth or under the earth" is able to open the scroll of God's purpose for history. Only Jesus, the "Lion of the tribe of Judah" (5:5), has the right to do so. And every creature in all creation worships him for it (5:13). We are the "image and glory" (1 Cor 11:7) of God, designed to point to his greatness. True masculinity will direct others' attention to God.

This perspective gives us a new definition of heroism. We aren't heroes; but we act heroically when we act in a way that typifies God to the world and points others to his glory. The goal of my masculinity isn't to impress others but to prompt them to see my good works and give glory to my Father in heaven.

2. The Holy Spirit grows me in masculinity, not me.

In Ephesians 2, Paul teaches, "In [Christ] you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit" (Eph. 2:22, emphasis added). In 1 Corinthians Paul takes pains to show that God alone causes growth in the field of his church (3:6, 9). God assigns us gifts and tasks as part of the privilege of working with him, but, as John Stott writes in Basic Christian Leadership, "in God's field . . . it is God's activity that really matters."

Because manhood is part of our identity in Christ, this truth also applies to the process of growing as a man. God grows us in true masculinity. There are no self-made men of God; but we may repent of "what is dishonorable" (2 Tim. 2:20) and thus prepare the way for God to cultivate his image in us.

This is a call to caution and to courage. Caution, because we don't want to take any part of our sanctification into our own hands, and some of the "wisdom" on manhood for Christians overemphasizes human effort. Manhood is not a do-it-yourself endeavor; we are never "perfected by the flesh" (Gal. 3:3) in masculinity. But we can take courage, because we're in capable hands. The power of growing in manhood belongs to God alone, and he desires to make us "grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ" (Eph. 4:15).

3. I have already received my manhood in Jesus Christ.

Masculinity is not a badge we win at the end of a series of trials or a status I might one day earn. My growth in manhood, in being the image and glory of God, was earned by Jesus 2,000 years ago. He has begun the "good work" of growing me in manhood, and he will bring it to completion. I don't have to become a man; I am a man.

We will fall along the way in the process of growing into manhood. We will see the ways God is a perfect Father, a perfect Husband, and we'll know we can never hope to meet his example. But our lives are hidden with Christ in God; and when we fall short, we give thanks that God is merciful to love us, weak men as we are.

I'm still learning what it means to grow as a Christian man. I hope this series will provide others with encouragement and guidance in their growth; I also hope those who read these articles will converse with me, offering their own wisdom on biblical masculinity. May we sharpen one another like iron and learn to live into God's vision for us as men.

Joseph Rhea recently completed his Master of Divinity from Beeson Divinity School in Birmingham, Alabama. He and his wife, Allison, belong to Redeemer Community Church, and he is pursuing ministry work.

What Makes Men Great?

by Eric Metaxas

In the news recently, we heard the tragic story of the Olympic athlete nicknamed “the Blade Runner.” Oscar Pistorius, who raced on prosthetic legs, was charged with shooting his girlfriend to death. If convicted, he faces life in prison.

And then of course there’s Lance Armstrong, the cyclist who, after years of denials, finally admitted to using illegal performance-enhancing drugs and was stripped of all seven of his Tour de France medals.

A lot of people admire athletes, but Pistorius and Armstrong are reminders that simply having athletic prowess does not make men heroic. So what does make men great?
Like Jesus, I'm going to answer that question with a story.

Many of you have probably seen the film "Chariots of Fire," about the Scottish runner Eric Liddell, and about how, in 1924, he surrendered an almost certain Olympic gold medal in the 100 meters because the heats took place on a Sunday. And Eric Liddell would not run on the Sabbath. He felt that that would not honor God. So instead, Eric began training for the 400 meters. That was not something he was expected to win a gold medal in. But to his country's delight, he did win the gold medal in that event.

In my new book, Seven Men and the Secret of Their Greatness, I write about seven men, among them Eric Liddell, who was willing to make this incredible sacrifice. He gave up not only the greatest prize in sports, but also the chance to bring honor to his beloved country — not to mention fame, fortune, and glory to himself.

And then he gave up the glory and wealth that goes with being an Olympic champion when he announced his intention to serve God on the mission field in China.

Eric's heroism did not stop after he won his gold medal. In the lead-up to World War II, Eric more than once put his life in danger in an effort to bring supplies to the school where he taught. On one of these journeys, he was attacked and robbed by armed thieves; on another, he was shot at.

After the war started, Eric was sent to a Japanese internment camp in China. There, he threw himself into both work and volunteer activities, teaching in the camp school and organizing softball, cricket, and tennis games for the children. Despite his growing exhaustion, and missing his family terribly, he remained cheerful for the sake of others. When he noticed that a teenager's shoes had worn out, Eric gave him his extra pair — the very shoes he had worn in the Olympic Games.

In 1945, after years in the camp, Eric began suffering terrible headaches. After he suffered a minor stoke, camp doctors believed that he had a brain tumor. On February 18, Eric finished writing one last letter to his wife and slipped into a coma. And he died that evening at the age of 43.

When the news spread around the world, not only Scotland mourned, but many other countries, as well. The Glasgow Evening News summed up the feelings of the Scottish people regarding the man who had put God before a gold medal and then spent the remainder of his life serving others. Eric Liddell, the editors said, “did [Scotland] proud every hour of his life.”

He did Scotland proud again when, 63 years after his death, China revealed that Eric had been included in a prisoner exchange. But rather than going free, he had given up his place to a pregnant woman.

For the next six Mondays leading up to Father's Day, BreakPoint will look at truly heroic men — the men I write about in my new book, Seven Men and the Secret of their Greatness. I hope you'll tune in. And I hope you'll share these stories with young people who too often admire the wrong people for the wrong reasons. They'll learn that greatness lies not in stellar achievements, but in selfless sacrifice.

Eric Metaxas is a co-host of BreakPoint Radio and a best-selling author whose biographies, children's books, and popular apologetics have been translated into more than a dozen languages.

Being a Strong Father in a Culture of Weak Men

Boys should be able to describe what a godly man looks like, having watched one from the time they were a little boy.  Unfortunately, this isn’t the case for most.  For many boys, a godly man is something like Superman or Big Foot.  It is not something that can be grasped.

A couple of weeks ago I brought my two boys with me to a home and garden center.  As I was checking out, the old man behind the counter stopped me in my tracks with what he said.  My boys were off to the side, gently playing with the wind chimes.  They, too, didn’t know how to respond to the old man’s comment
“What are you two girls up to today?”

I don’t think he meant anything bad by it.  It’s not like they were in trouble or something.  Rather, he was probably just a good-ole country boy looking to ruffle some feathers in my sons.  My boys sheepish smiled, and even softly replied, “We’re not girls.”  Unfortunately, my reply was equally as soft.  ”Oh, boys, he’s just being crazy saying you are girls.”

It wasn’t until I was driving away did I begin kicking myself.  I realized I missed an opportunity to speak into my sons.  They needed me to.  They were watching how I would handle that situation. That day my boys needed a strong father.

I have seen so many weak boys get married, begin working, and even start reproducing with their new brides.  They wouldn’t tell you they are weak – probably because they don’t know they are.

For years I have quoted a verse that jumped out at me the first time I read it:

Praise the Lord! Blessed is the man who fears the LORD, who greatly delights in his commandments! His offspring will be mighty in the land;” Psalms 122:1,2a

As a father, I pray that my boys will grow up to be strong, godly men.  In the meantime, there are certain things I hold to in an effort to help lead them that way.

1. Show them the power in weakness.  We’ve been led to think that broken, emotional, and dependent men are all signs of a lesser male.  This is a lie.  I want all my kids to hear from me about my imperfection.  I want them to hear how grateful I am for the grace of God.  That grace will bring me to tears at times.  It does because it is overwhelming.  It is freeing.  As opposed to teaching them to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, I want them to learn what it’s like to approach a powerful, mighty, gracious God who welcomes dependent, broken, faith-filled people.

2. Help them realize their strength.  I consider it “papa bear” time.  I’ve been wrestling with my kids since they were babies.  They’re getting to that age where their punches actually hurt.  With each of their best wrestling moves or carefully placed punches, I let them know I see an improvement in their strength.  This is something I never want them to question.  They have what it takes.

3. Model for them how to love and honor their wife.  When my kids were little, they would cry if we told them we were going on a date.  Now it is such a regular event that they barely notice.  We’ve explained many times that mommy and daddy love each other, so we want to go spend time together – just the two of us.  They see me get excited about a gift idea, and they help me surprise my wife in unexpected ways.  I hope that someday I will be able to help them surprise their wives as well.

4. Teach them to fight fairly.  My wife and I get under each other’s skin at times.  We conflict.  We bicker.  We snip at each other.  I can be grumpy, or too curt.  My kids get front row seats to all this.  I don’t want them to wonder if they have a bad marriage someday because they are arguing with their spouse.  I want them to see that conflict is a good thing.  It brings growth, freedom and friendship if done well.

5. Provide an apprenticeship.  I love it when my boys work around the house with me.  So many teachable moments open up as we are building a bike rack (like last weekend) or splitting firewood in the backyard.  I want my boys to understand the power of power tools, as well as the intricacies of doing electrical work.  Each time I work, I invite them in.  Sure I could get it done faster without them, but there is something about slowing down and accepting their help that is satisfying.

6. Teach them the Story.  As they grow up, I want to continue to unfold the story of God to them.  It’s not just about memorizing Scripture.  It is about them coming to understand God as Father.  They need someone who can hear their tough questions about God, and dig through the Scriptures to help uncover the answer.  And when those times come when we don’t fully understand the answer, I want to explain to them exactly what faith is, and how it is something to not be afraid of.

By the way, after a few weeks of stewing on how I handled that old guy at the home and garden center, I brought my boys back.  I brought them in to dare him to say something like he did before.  I felt like John Wayne, calling out a man to a duel.

Sure enough, he was there, right behind the same counter he was before.  I walked straight up to him and looked him square in the eyes.  Unfortunately, he didn’t go running his mouth that day.  BUT, if he had, I was prepared to tell him this:

“Oh, these aren’t girls.  They are future men.  And each day it is my responsibility to teach them how to get there.”

What are some other ways men can be strong fathers in the lives of their kids?

AUTHOR: Kevin East is the Executive Director of Family Matters and Executive Director of Ministries for Pine Cove, one of the premier Christian camps in the country. He and his wife Stephanie have five children, two of which they most recently adopted.

A Brit Looks at the Three Big Mistakes of Same-Sex Marriage

by Phil Moore, pastor of Everyday Church in London

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Editor's Note: Same-sex marriage continues to be a prominent issue in our society today. As church leaders, the way we engage the discussion is critical. In this post, Phil Moore, pastor of Everyday Church in London, offers insight on how the issue has been wrongly framed. Has the same-sex issue been hijacked by political lobbyists? How should the church approach the issue? 

If you believe the newspapers then it’s already been decided. The fight to legalize same-sex marriage has already been won.

Prime Minister, David Cameron, introduced a bill to the British Parliament, which will be debated on February 5, that is not being opposed by the opposition.

President Obama has used his second inauguration speech to signal that he also intends to legalize gay marriage in the U.S. through federal law.

The French President, Francois Hollande, has dismissed public protests over his support for same-sex marriage as the reactionary chattering of the no-longer-radical bourgeoisie.

But while politicians steamroll their proposals into law, they are ignoring some fundamental questions. Let me point out just three of the big mistakes that they are making:

Mistake #1: Everybody Knows That Same-Sex Marriage Should be Legalized.

Suppose we held a referendum that revealed this statement to be true. Suppose the majority of Britons and Americans actually did believe that same-sex marriage should be legalized — would that therefore make it right?

If the majority of Afghans voted that women should be barred from education, they wouldn’t therefore be right. When the majority of British people voted in the early 19th century that there was nothing wrong with slavery, campaigners didn’t stop arguing that the majority was wrong.

In fact, the essence of the pro-gay argument is that majority opinion has been wrong in the past on the issue of sexuality! Even in the purest of democracies, it is accepted that the majority opinion should be tested rather than turned into hastily drafted law. Consensus has long been the refuge of rascals, who attempt to stifle debate by claiming that the matter has already been decided.

What is becoming clear, anyway, is that the majority of people do not in fact back this major change to society.

Although the British Chancellor of the Exchequer, George Osborne, argued in last Sunday’s issue of The Times that redefining marriage will be a vote-winner for the conservatives, the real noise at the conservative head office is that of the large numbers of Tories who feel betrayed that this legislation was not in the party’s election manifesto. The British Youth Parliament has called on the government to drop gay marriage as a priority. In scenes reminiscent of the days before the war with Iraq, we are watching politicians make decisions without consulting those who elected them, only to regret their hastiness too late afterwards.

Mistake #2: Sexuality is a Civil Rights Issue.

When Lady Gaga sings, “Baby, I was born this way,” it makes for good music. When Barack Obama embraces it as a political philosophy, it makes for bad government.

He used his inauguration speech to liken the fight for same-sex marriage to the epic struggle won by Abraham Lincoln against black slavery, and by Martin Luther King Jr. against racial segregation, saying: “Our journey is not complete until our gay brothers and sisters are treated like anyone else under the law — for if we are truly created equal, then surely the love we commit to one another must be equal as well.” Barack Obama is a master at rhetoric, but this is lazy at best and insulting at worst.

Issues of race and of sexuality are entirely different. To try to twist this is not to carry on the journey started by Abraham Lincoln and Martin Luther King Jr., it is to insult what they stood for and to try and hijack their legacy.
 
I have searched in vain for a robust medical study which shows that our sexuality is written deep into our DNA. It hasn’t been proven that homosexuality is genetic any more than it has been proven that homosexuality is caused by our environment. It appears that it is simply one of many sexual preferences that societies ought to weigh carefully, and then label right or wrong.

A boy who falls in love with his sister can’t marry her because we have ruled that incest is wrong. A man who falls in love with a twelve-year-old girl can’t marry her because we have ruled that child abuse is wrong.

We may decide that a man falling in love with a man is as equally valid as a man falling in love with a woman, but we can’t do so by appealing to genetics and civil rights. Men are twice as likely as women to become addicted to pornography, but their XY chromosomes don’t mean that their temptation is justified. 
 
It’s entirely right for us to have a free and open debate on whether homosexuality is right or wrong, but it’s entirely wrong to pretend that this is a civil rights issue like black slavery or racial segregation.

This is all about moral choices, not genetics. Barack Obama should be ashamed of himself for insulting the memory of Lincoln and King by suggesting otherwise.

Mistake #3: Opposition to Same-Sex Marriage is a Religious Issue.

In the U.K., David Cameron and Nick Clegg have tried to frame the issue of same-sex marriage as a battle between free-thinking reformers and religious reactionaries.

They have shouted down opposition to their bill by promising that churches and mosques will be protected from being forced to conduct same-sex marriages on their premises, and the Church of England has been flattered into playing along in exchange for a seat at the discussion table. Even if we believe Cameron and Clegg (and let’s face it, it’s hard to do so when Cameron has just warned the church on another issue to “get with the programme” or face the consequences), it is missing the point entirely.

It isn’t just Christians, Jews and Muslims who want to have a say in this issue. Marriages make families and families make society. How we define marriage affects all of us. To deny this is ridiculous.
 
I received a letter from David Cameron a few weeks ago when I corresponded with him about same-sex marriage. He told me that he thinks marriage is so important that he wants to open it up to same-sex couples as well, which is about as logical as me saying that I like Italian food so much that I want to declare that every cuisine in the world be Italian. It isn’t just an issue for religious people when our governments start redefining marriage with political double-speak which wouldn’t be out of place in George Orwell’s Animal Farm.

Even in decadent Rome, when Emperor Nero briefly legalized same-sex marriage, his pagan Roman subjects opposed his law. The historian, Tacitus, complained that Nero “went through a formal wedding ceremony with one of the perverts named Pythagorus,” and implies that this added to the general public disgust with Nero which eventually led to his forced suicide (Annals 15.37). If the most anti-Christian city in the world opposed gay marriage (remember, these were the people who threw Christians to the lions), then let’s not pretend that opposition to same-sex marriage is a religious issue.

Besides, when Barack Obama refers six times in his inauguration speech to God and four times to the Creator or to Creation, it reminds us that religious people have always had an important role in shaping public policy for good. Not least among them were Abraham Lincoln (a devout Christian) and Martin Luther King Jr. (a Christian pastor). Politicians can’t have it both ways: either they want to associate themselves with God and with the great religious thinkers of the past, or they should come clean and say that they don’t want to.
 
The reason Barack Obama referred so much to God and to the great religious thinkers of the past is that every U.S. President knows he needs to stand on the shoulders of the founding fathers — who were religious thinkers — thus, to dismiss religious thinkers as nothing more than a group of political lobbyists is an act of insanity. They are those who have routinely submitted their own generation’s thinking to the scrutiny of the wise men and women of old, and who have learned to speak up for what they have learned.
 
The true political lobbyists are the pro-gay activists who have filled the staff roles in 10 Downing Street and in the West Wing. It is this small, but powerful, clique that has so influenced the politicians that they can’t see the three big mistakes which they are making. Same-sex marriage isn’t a religious issue any more than it is a civil rights issue. It is the coveted ambition of a group of powerful lobbyists who want to stifle debate by claiming the debate is already over.

We mustn’t let them succeed in rushing through this piece of hasty legislation. 

Phil Moore leads Queens Road Church in Wimbledon. He also serves as a Bible teacher and evangelist within the Newfrontiers family of churches. He is the author of the “Straight to the Heart” series of devotional commentaries. Phil is married to Ruth and they have three young children. Together, they love eating strange and exotic food, watching movies with lots of popcorn, and reading books by Roald Dahl.