Retired Marine Corps general James
Mattis testifies before the Senate Armed Services Committee on his nomination
to be the next secretary of defense on January 12, 2017. As Mattis, a warrior
and gentleman scholar, steps into the spotlight a number of colleges are
referring to personas like his as "toxic" for our youth. Who is
right?Have you felt the touch of “toxic masculinity” lately? Maybe you just didn’t realize when its steely grip grabbed you by the back of the neck, say some academics at Duke and more.
Wait a second, you say, what is toxic masculinity? Quite right, we need a definition. This is a relatively new and controversial academic idea. Urban Dictionary took a swing at it and came up with this:
n.) A false idea that men are expected to be as manly as possible even though they're definitely not regularly expected to drink gallon sized beers in under three seconds, grow out gravely beards by mere thought alone, kill sharks with their bare hands….
The Good Men Project blog does a better job: “Toxic masculinity is a narrow and repressive description of manhood, designating manhood as defined by violence, sex, status and aggression.”
So right, it’s a negative thing that
must be repressed, as if manliness is a psychological disorder that only leads
to aggression and violence, say these academics.
Basically, they say telling young men to “man up” or “grow a pair” is making young men do violent things. They say old-school patriarchal elements of society are pushing them to prove themselves to their peers in destructive ways. Man’s caveman traits, they argue, run toxic with adrenaline unless our young men can swear off being men.
Never mind that these academics are ignoring thousands of years of things like Christian virtues, Confucian principles, knightly conduct and gentlemanly codes developed and used to channel boys’ natural aggression in positive ways as mentors show them how to be stand-up men living a chivalric code. All that is passé.
Actually, it’s worse than passé. That portion of human history is too loaded with things these academics want to wipe away—and, to some extent, they already have diminished, which is the actual reason colleges are dealing with boys who never learned to be gentleman.
Basically, they say telling young men to “man up” or “grow a pair” is making young men do violent things. They say old-school patriarchal elements of society are pushing them to prove themselves to their peers in destructive ways. Man’s caveman traits, they argue, run toxic with adrenaline unless our young men can swear off being men.
Never mind that these academics are ignoring thousands of years of things like Christian virtues, Confucian principles, knightly conduct and gentlemanly codes developed and used to channel boys’ natural aggression in positive ways as mentors show them how to be stand-up men living a chivalric code. All that is passé.
Actually, it’s worse than passé. That portion of human history is too loaded with things these academics want to wipe away—and, to some extent, they already have diminished, which is the actual reason colleges are dealing with boys who never learned to be gentleman.
Now, instead of taking an honest
look at what makes men, some colleges have opted to condemn manliness.
CampusReform.org is reporting that “Oregon State University invited students to attend a ‘healthy masculinities conference’ where they will ‘engage in collective imagining to construct new futures for masculinities, unrestricted by power, privilege, and oppression.’”
Advertisements for Oregon State’s “masculinities conference” ask: “Join us in a collective examination of the histories and legacies that shape present day masculinities. Through a day of presentations, panels, workshops, and artistic expression, learn how to engage systems of power.”
CampusReform.org is reporting that “Oregon State University invited students to attend a ‘healthy masculinities conference’ where they will ‘engage in collective imagining to construct new futures for masculinities, unrestricted by power, privilege, and oppression.’”
Advertisements for Oregon State’s “masculinities conference” ask: “Join us in a collective examination of the histories and legacies that shape present day masculinities. Through a day of presentations, panels, workshops, and artistic expression, learn how to engage systems of power.”
Meanwhile, Ithaca College is holding a workshop called “MLK Week: Educational
Workshop - From the Batman to J. Cole: Masculinity and Violence.” Students are
going to study “hegemonic masculinity and its role as the wheel that rotates a
cycle of violence.” This workshop’s goal it to help “willing individuals to
begin to recognize, acknowledge, own, and disrupt the toxicity of manhood in
order to end violence.”
Duke University even has a “Men’s Project” sponsored by the university’s Women’s Center. It says it will “examine the ways we present—or don’t present—our masculinities, so we can better understand how masculinity exists on our campus—often in toxic ways—and begin the work of unlearning violence.” (Okay, don’t even let yourself imagine the fallout that would occur if a Duke’s Men’s Center sponsored a “Women’s Project” in order to help women understand and solve their issues. First of all, come on, a Men’s Center at Duke! Secondly, well, come on.)
Certainly, sexual assault and worse are a problem on college campuses, but these academics are trying to cure a problem with more of what is causing a societal problem. They are trying to further emasculate young men instead of, you know, teaching them to be gentleman.
If teaching young men how to be gentleman sounds stodgy to someone, then point out to them that becoming a gentleman is about finding real, heart-thumping ways to test yourself that will help you become your best self. There is an ancient formula behind this process used by every society and institution we all agree made or makes people of character. In my book This Will Make a Man of You I show how the same method, a process now being misunderstood and destroyed, has always been used to help men (and now an increasing number of women) prove themselves in positive ways as they thereby become upstanding members of society.
Even the mad streets of Pamplona, Spain, during an encierro (the running of the bulls) does this every July by helping youth test themselves in something real. Running with the bulls, like any real rite of passage, requires you to face a physical test, a dangerous trial. You need to follow certain rules to make it through. The rules make your chances of surviving uninjured higher, but they also make it safer for everyone. For example, if you break the rules by grabbing a bull’s tail and so make the bull stop and turn around in the street then that bull will begin to gore people. Not doing this—and many other things—shows respect for the bull, for yourself and for those in the street with you. That understood respect is the beginning of a real gentlemanly code of honor.
This is hard for people who avoid reality to comprehend. It is about proving yourself in some real thing, a thing that will require you to struggle and live up to something greater than yourself—places like karate dojos, boot camp and, yes, volunteering at a soup kitchen can do this if done with your mind open. Those are growing experiences.
A group of academics telling boys not to be men will only make the problems associated with young men who haven’t learned to be gentleman worse.
Duke University even has a “Men’s Project” sponsored by the university’s Women’s Center. It says it will “examine the ways we present—or don’t present—our masculinities, so we can better understand how masculinity exists on our campus—often in toxic ways—and begin the work of unlearning violence.” (Okay, don’t even let yourself imagine the fallout that would occur if a Duke’s Men’s Center sponsored a “Women’s Project” in order to help women understand and solve their issues. First of all, come on, a Men’s Center at Duke! Secondly, well, come on.)
Certainly, sexual assault and worse are a problem on college campuses, but these academics are trying to cure a problem with more of what is causing a societal problem. They are trying to further emasculate young men instead of, you know, teaching them to be gentleman.
If teaching young men how to be gentleman sounds stodgy to someone, then point out to them that becoming a gentleman is about finding real, heart-thumping ways to test yourself that will help you become your best self. There is an ancient formula behind this process used by every society and institution we all agree made or makes people of character. In my book This Will Make a Man of You I show how the same method, a process now being misunderstood and destroyed, has always been used to help men (and now an increasing number of women) prove themselves in positive ways as they thereby become upstanding members of society.
Even the mad streets of Pamplona, Spain, during an encierro (the running of the bulls) does this every July by helping youth test themselves in something real. Running with the bulls, like any real rite of passage, requires you to face a physical test, a dangerous trial. You need to follow certain rules to make it through. The rules make your chances of surviving uninjured higher, but they also make it safer for everyone. For example, if you break the rules by grabbing a bull’s tail and so make the bull stop and turn around in the street then that bull will begin to gore people. Not doing this—and many other things—shows respect for the bull, for yourself and for those in the street with you. That understood respect is the beginning of a real gentlemanly code of honor.
This is hard for people who avoid reality to comprehend. It is about proving yourself in some real thing, a thing that will require you to struggle and live up to something greater than yourself—places like karate dojos, boot camp and, yes, volunteering at a soup kitchen can do this if done with your mind open. Those are growing experiences.
A group of academics telling boys not to be men will only make the problems associated with young men who haven’t learned to be gentleman worse.
by Frank Miniter, Forbes Magazine contributor
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