No Country for Men

Someone asked this question of Chris Harper of Better Man

"Chris, you referenced that the majority of churches have women's ministries [approximately 80%], while men's ministries are less than 10%. Why do you think that number is so small?"

He gave this response:

1. Fear of Failure and Awkwardness

Many pastors/leaders don't know what to do with men. Women's and children's ministries feel natural—there's a long history of them, and they seem to "work." Men, on the other hand, are often less verbal, less likely to sign up for a "class," and more prone to disappear if something feels shallow or forced. The fear of putting effort into a men's ministry that fizzles keeps many churches from trying at all.

2. Low Expectations for Men

Culturally, we've lowered the bar for men. Churches often expect little more than attendance and financial giving. When men are treated as utility rather than disciples—cars need to be parked, checks need to be written, security needs to be provided—there's little vision for forming their souls. Without a compelling call to transformation, men remain passive, and ministries to men wither on the vine.

3. The "Family-First" Paradigm

In the past few decades, many churches have emphasized marriage and family ministries [which are reasonable and necessary], but often at the expense of ministry to men. The unintended effect: the church pours into couples and kids but never invests directly in men, leaving the leaders of those families underdeveloped.

4. Pastors Not Investing in Men

Most churches rise or fall on what the pastor emphasizes. If the pastor doesn't personally disciple men, it rarely happens elsewhere in the church. Men follow men. If they don't see their shepherd prioritizing the training of men, they won't expect it to matter.

5. Consumer Christianity

Many men have been conditioned by church culture to view themselves as "audience members," rather than soldiers. Consumer Christianity [sit, sing, listen, leave] strips the fight out of men. A consumer doesn't need training. A soldier does. If church is reduced to a weekly event, men's discipleship gets sidelined.

6. The Cost of Real Brotherhood

Real men's ministry requires risk: uncomfortable honesty, confrontation of sin, accountability, and commitment. That's messy. It takes time. It requires older men pouring into younger men [Titus 2; 2 Timothy 2]. It doesn't fit neatly into a program slot on the calendar. Many churches prefer safe events to costly brotherhood.

7. Satan Targets Men

There's also a spiritual reason: Satan knows if you cripple the men, you weaken the home, the church, and the culture. Undiscipled men become absent fathers, passive husbands, and compromised leaders. A church without men's discipleship is an easy target. Weak, broken men make weak, broken homes. Broken homes make broken churches. Broken churches fuel broken cities. 

By Chris Harper with Better Man