Why Am I Still Struggling Against the Same Sins?

If you, as a disciple of Jesus, find yourself, five or ten or even fifty years after you started following Jesus, still weak in the same areas of life, still struggling with lust or anger or greed or hatred, then welcome to
the Club of Discipleship, commonly known as The Church.

No, we are not here to excuse one another. But we are here to introduce ourselves, week after week, with the likes of: “Hi, my name is Chad and I’m a sinner.”

I’ve struggled with (name-your-weakness). I have good days and bad days. Sometimes I have days from hell, where I think the devil must have me in a chokehold. Other days, I seem to do well. But even then, there’s always the nagging temptations, the subtle allurements. 

If I find myself outwardly abstaining from this or that wrongdoing, all too often that’s where my heart dwells or my mind daydreams. What’s even more maddening is that when I do well and think I’m making some strong progress, I begin to feel proud of myself and—bam!—all of a sudden now my soul is flexing its muscles of arrogance and self-righteousness.

Good God, it’s frustrating. It drives me nuts. I can’t escape from my own worst enemy—myself.”

Welcome to discipleship. Welcome to the Christian life. Welcome to Jacob’s life.

And welcome, too, to the Jesus who responds to each of us by saying, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matt. 11:28-30).

One of the things we will learn from our Savior is that he did not call us to become witnesses to a complete life transformation in which we are now better than other people. Rather, he called us into a living relationship with himself and the Father through the power of the Spirit in which our true identities are now completely secure in Jesus.

Even when we fail? Yes. Even when we sin that same sin again? Yes. Will he continue to call us to repentance? Yes. Will he continue to discipline us as a father does his child? Also, yes.

Every disciple of Jesus wishes for freedom from sin in this life. But we are in this life; thus, we are still at war with ourselves, at war with the sinful nature that doesn’t tuck its tail between its legs and flee when we become Christians. It declares war.

But Jesus has won and, in him, we too have won. In fact, in him, we are more than conquerors. We are beloved. And Christ’s consistent grace over time proves that he is never going to change from being the Friend and Forgiver of Sinners.

(An excerpt from Limping with God: Jacob and the Old Testament Guide to Messy Discipleship by  Chad Bird)