Thinking About My Dad

The word “Father” is perhaps the most significant name of the God of the Bible. It occurs 1,488 times and sets Christianity apart from all other religions. 

God could have called himself anything but He chose to reveal himself as Father. It was Jesus’ favorite term for addressing God the Father. He prayed “Abba” – papa, daddy – a word of endearment, affection and intimacy. That was something unprecedented in Judaism and in world history. Amazingly God invites us to call him "Abba, Father.” As a dad and grandfather, I’m humbled to think I have been bestowed with a title that God claimed for himself.

For this Father’s Day let us remember that human fatherhood is patterned after divine fatherhood. Every one of us human fathers is an imperfect reflection of our perfectly loving, heavenly Father. Yet the foremost call of every father in this life is to live in such a way that his children glimpse what God the Father is like.

 

For many of us Fathers’ Day is not easy because we had or have a difficult relationship with our earthly father. Growing up we may not have really known him even if we lived with him. I know something about that. My dad wasn’t there for me. He was absent and we were estranged for much of my life.

My Dad and I never played catch, or hunted or fished together. We never worked on cars, hugged, or just hung out. He never saw me play ball, learn to swim or ride a bike or graduate from high school and college or get married.  We never really talked about sports, sex or much of anything else.

 

He never told me what it means to be a man, or about God and the things of God. I never heard the words, “I’m proud of you son”, “You have what it takes” or “I love you son.”

 

For most of my life my father was not there. Many of you know the wound of an absent dad. A man’s deepest wounds are not physical but wounds of the soul that render an orphan heart. They often come from the most important man in our lives.

God commands us fathers to care for our children as our Father in heaven lavishly cares for us and to teach them about and live lives of truth, honor and unconditional, sacrificial love.

Forty-six years ago at age 33, I came to faith in Jesus Christ and discovered “the greater love of the Father” that no earthly father can give. I read in Psalm 68:4 that “He is father to the fatherlessness” and realized that I was not fatherless.  My real Father is my Heavenly Father - the one we call “Our father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.” He is Abba Father! Poppa ---Daddy!

In time, by God’s grace, I came to see my need to forgive my father for his absence. I also came to see his sin and brokenness. I began to pray for his soul. As his health deteriorated, my dad confessed and repented before the Lord. Then before drawing his last breath 28 years ago, he made things right with me and the rest of my family.

My dad died in faith and because of that this one thing I know for sure - my dad will be a bigger part of my future than he ever was of my past!

If you’re a father, you can reclaim the damaged relationship with your children and others through Christ. You can commit to leaving legacy to your children of a father who loves them and their mother with the unconditional, sacrificial love of God.

Likewise, God can reconcile you to an absent dad. In Malachi 4:6 we read that God "will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers…” That’s exactly what God the Father did for me and my dad! The God of all comfort can fill your aching void and reconcile your broken relationships.

Dave Brown is director and pastor-at-large of the Washington Area Coalition of Men’s Ministries (WACMM), a non-profit, non-denominational organization that helps pastors, church staff and men’s leaders across the region in their ministry to men. He also pastors at Restoration Church DC in Washington DC.

Five Great Books on the American Revolution

As we celebrate America's 250th anniversary, renowned Christian historian Dr. Thomas Kidd has recommended the top histories about the American Founding. Check them out below:

 

 

1) Gordon Wood, The Radicalism of the American Revolution (1991). This is arguably the finest book on the Revolution and its consequences, and more readable than his equally brilliant Creation of the American Republic.

2) David Hackett Fischer, Paul Revere’s Ride(1994). Fischer’s evocative story places Revere in his proper colonial context. After reading this, you’ll understand why it was impossible that Revere would have ever said “The British are coming!”

3) Pauline Maier, American Scripture: Making the Declaration of Independence (1997). A definitive history of the Declaration, its creation, and the way that Americans came to revere it as a quasi-sacred document.

4) James Byrd, Sacred Scripture, Sacred War: The Bible and the American Revolution (2013). Byrd has dramatically transformed our understanding of how the Bible was actually used in the Revolution. He counted the number of times particular passages were cited in Revolutionary-er a publications. So, for instance, did the Patriots deal with Romans 13 and its strictures against rebellion? It turns out that this passage was the most commonly cited one during the Revolution. I regularly assign this book in courses.

5) Maya Jasanoff, Liberty’s Exiles: American Loyalists in the Revolutionary World (2011). One of the best books on the Loyalists in the Revolution, Jasanoff’s fascinating account shows why so many Americans – including many evangelical Christians – found themselves defending the British Empire and what she calls the “Spirit of ’83.”

 

Men and Women Are Equal, Not the Same

Let it be known: Men and women are not interchangeable. They are equal in dignity, worth, and standing before God, but they are not the same.

Men and women are created in the imago Dei [Gen. 1:27]. Both are worthy of love, honor, and respect. But equality does not mean or require sameness. Men and women are different on many, many levels.

Biologically, men tend toward strength, size, and physical protection. Whereas women are uniquely designed for resilience, life-bearing, and nurturing, capable of sustaining and caring for life in ways men cannot.

Emotionally, women often exhibit heightened sensitivity, with greater empathy, intuition, and emotional attunement. Men often lean toward resolve, problem-solving, steadiness under pressure, and protective instinct.

Relationally, women tend to cultivate connection, often drawing people in, building community, and fostering a sense of belonging. Men tend to establish direction; they will initiate, lead, and take responsibility for others’ well-being.

These differences are not defects. They are gifts. They are not opposites in conflict. They are complements. Like a melody and harmony, they are different by design, each with a distinct function and purpose that make a beautiful song.

We do neither sex justice when we erase the glory of their God-given design. Men and women are most complete when they stand together, not when they compete to become the same.

Scripture calls a husband to live with his wife "in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel" [1 Peter 3:7]. That phrase, "weaker vessel,” is not an insult. It is a summons. Peter is not saying women are lesser. He is reminding men that strength is not given for domination, but for protection.

A man is not the weaker vessel because God placed a unique weight on his shoulders to lead, love, protect, provide, and sacrifice. Not because he is more valuable, but because he is more accountable.

Chronologically, Eve sinned first. She was tempted, took the fruit, and ate. Then she gave it to Adam, and he ate [Gen. 3:1–6]. Yet Scripture places the responsibility on Adam. In Romans 5, Paul repeatedly traces sin and death back to "one man…" That man is Adam:

"Sin entered the world through one man…" [v.12]
"Death reigned from the time of Adam…" [v.14]
"Many died by the trespass of the one man…" [v.15]
"Through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners" [v.19]

Eve is not mentioned. Adam is accountable. Why? Because Adam was given responsibility. He was created first. He was entrusted with God’s command. He was the head of his household. When God came into the garden, He came looking for Adam [Gen. 3:9]. Even though Eve took the first bite, Adam was responsible for what happened under his watch.

God gave Adam weight long before the fall. And when he refused to carry what God gave him, chaos ensued. God is not a God of chaos, but of order. From the opening pages of Scripture, you see it… Light separated from darkness, land from sea, man from woman. Distinction is not accidental, it is intentional.

And that order is not oppressive. It is life-giving. When God’s created order is embraced, things flourish. When it is denied, chaos and death ensue.

In the home, a man who carries responsibility with humility and courage creates a sense of safety. Not control, but security. His leadership is not loud or domineering; it is steady, sacrificial, and present. A woman, free to fully live in her strength, wisdom, and relational depth, brings warmth, beauty, and life to the home. Children grow up seeing strength and tenderness working together, not competing. They learn what love looks like with skin on it. They learn that authority can be trusted and that care is strong.

But when that order is denied, the home begins to fracture.

If a man abdicates, withdraws, or refuses to carry, someone else must pick up the weight. Often, it’s the woman. And when she is forced to carry both her design and his, something begins to bend. Resentment creeps in. Exhaustion sets in. The home may still function, but it loses its balance. The music is still playing, but it’s out of tune.

Or the opposite… When a man overreaches, using strength to control rather than serve, the home becomes unsafe. What was meant to protect begins to crush. This is why Dallas Willard said, "The primary work of God is finding men to whom he can entrust his power…" Abuse or neglect will break a home. Biblical masculinity is neither control nor passivity. It is entrusted strength, a strength that is submitted to God, shaped by love, and poured out for the good of others.

In the church, God’s order is meant to display something bigger than us; it is a living picture of Christ and His Bride. When men step into their God-ordained roles [pastor, elder, overseer] with humility and strength, the church is strengthened. Not because men are better, but because they are bearing the responsibility God gave them. When women are honored, empowered, and fully engaged in the life of the church, using their gifts, wisdom, and discernment, the body becomes whole rather than fractured.

But when we reject God’s design, two things usually happen: men disappear and women are diminished. If men disengage, the church becomes passive, overly cautious, and thin on conviction. It may be kind, but it lacks backbone. Truth gets softened. Courage fades. If women are sidelined or undervalued, the church becomes cold, rigid, and relationally shallow. It may be doctrinally precise, but it lacks warmth and care.

God never intended either extreme. His design is not domination or erasure. It is interdependence under His authority.

In the broader culture, the effects multiply. When men are told there is nothing uniquely required of them, they will default to nothing. Passivity, escapism, addiction, and aimlessness rush in to fill the void. A man without a call to carry will eventually find something lesser to hold… comfort, pleasure, control, or nothing at all.

When women are told their distinct design is a limitation rather than a strength, they are pressured to live against the grain of their creation. And even if they succeed by the world’s standards, there is a quiet dissonance. Success without alignment always comes at a cost.

We are watching this play out in real time. Confusion in identity/roles has created an instability in families. Confusion in identity/roles has created a splintered church. Confusion in identity/roles has created a culture that is both louder and more fragile than ever.

When you reject God’s order, you don’t get freedom. You get fragmentation. But if we return to it, men and women will find their unique place and the peace that comes with it.

God’s design is not a cage. It is a framework for flourishing. It tells a man… "Carry the weight I’ve given you. Not with pride, but with purpose."

It tells a woman… "You are not an afterthought. You are essential, powerful, and integral to what I am building."

And it tells both… "You were never meant to compete. You were meant to reflect Me, together.

When that happens, when men carry, and women cultivate under God’s good design, you don’t just get order. You get life.

 by Dr, Chris Harper, a speaker, writer, and disciple-maker serving as the CEO of BetterMan. He received his Masters degree from Dallas Theological Seminary and his Doctorate from the Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary.

How To Resist the Devil

Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. (1 Pet5:8–9) As we submit to God, trusting our troubles into his care and keeping, we maintain control over our thoughts and emotions, fixing our eyes on him in a spirit of watchful expectation. This is the third time in the letter Peter has instructed God’s people to be “sober-minded,” or self-controlled. Here in 5:8 sober-mindedness is about safeguarding ourselves from the devil’s schemes. Until the Lord returns or calls us home, we will have to contend with this formidable enemy. Peter calls him our “adversary,” which is utterly appropriate, given that his mission is to destroy God’s glory by destroying God’s people. Peter likens the devil’s work to a ferocious lion that prowls around in search of prey. For most of us, our exposure to lions is limited to zoos and movies, so we don’t get just how terrifying this image was to the very first readers of Peter’s letter. To them, lions were the ferocious beasts let loose in Roman amphitheaters to tear people limb from limb.  That’s exactly what the devil tries to do to Christians, but ultimately he can’t succeed because Jesus’s power is greater. In the short run, though, he does all he can to discourage our faith, tempt us to sin, and paint God in an unloving light. He may be a ferocious lion now, but he won’t be forever. That role is reserved for “the Lion of the tribe of Judah,” who is Jesus himself (Rev. 5:5). The devil’s prowling conveys the idea of stealth, of sneaking up on an intended victim, which is why God’s people must also be “watchful” (1 Pet. 5:8). Being wise to the ways of the devil is especially important during seasons of suffering, because we are more vulnerable to temptations like doubt and unbelief.  So being sober-minded and watchful is vital, but those traits aren’t by themselves sufficient to avoid the devil’s schemes. Peter says we must also actively “resist him.” We do this not by attempting to rebuke him or cast him out, as some claim. We simply don’t have the power to go head to head with the devil. The way to resist is by immersing ourselves in God’s word. We resist by feeding our faith in the company of God’s people. We resist by obeying God’s commands and seeking to please him. And we resist by prayer.  To this Peter adds that knowing we aren’t alone in our suffering is another aid in resisting the devil’s attempts to devour (v. 9). Suffering is more difficult to bear when we think that no one understands what we’re going through. Shared hardships have a bonding effect as sufferers offer sympathy and encouragement to one another.  Lydia Brownback is the author of several books in addition to the Flourish Bible Study series, including the On-the-Go Devotionals for women; Finding God in My Loneliness; and Sing a New Song. She is a regular speaker at conferences and events and is passionate about teaching God's word.